Recipe of the Day: Giada’s Cheesy Pasta with Butternut Squash
The creamy sauce for this fall-inspired pasta comes together as the heat of the penne melts tangy goat cheese.
this descibes me perfectly
I have had such a hard time believing in myself.
The only thing that has been consistent in my life is this boy. And I’ve been there more for his needs, and he has yet to even scratch my surface.
A good example when it comes to insecurity…
It has been three full years that we’ve been on and off due to each others changes in our lives. Just recently did I show him the real me. Raw, up close, no make-up, full body shot.
"I don’t care what you look like.. I just love you." Words like embers, but they cut you like glass when time passes after the event.
These past few days… I couldn’t describe how off I’ve felt. And to write things down is easiest because there is no one I feel comfortable enough to share my short-comings, me deepest thoughts with other than to strangers I don’t know… because you don’t know where I live and I don’t have to face you every day.
I don’t believe to have anxiety, to be an introvert, to have depression… I was TOLD that I’m not. Of course that is some horse-caca. I’ve tried a therapist, but for a day and it got me in trouble.
For the things I’ve done in my life, I don’t know how I haven’t offed myself for real, though I’ve thought about it. I enjoy life too much though. Food mostly, but music, sights and sounds have kept me going, and I literally strive off of these things alone.
I work, and that’s it… I quit school, catechism, friends, life, and absorbed the virtual life. The only place I feel normal, because I get to hide. Or so what I am telling myself. I pay a (currently)$78 phone bill, and $80 for my rent… which is shit, but I like to spend my money. My parents let me. They are not strict for what it’s worth. My living space is minimal, for I buy my own food, I hardly use electricity, but I do take long showers. Anything else like TV, I don’t watch it but I use the Wi-Fi. Thanks Comcast for making Wi-Fi $50fuckingdollars. You nincompoops.
I don’t know. I just don’t know. I. If I had it my way I would just float in the sea forever and die that way, honestly.
Am I depressed? Is this what depression is? Anxiety, or being an introvert?
It is a shame that most guys tell you “Well I didn’t know what to say.”
You say, AND MEAN IT WHEN YOU DO, that you’re not like those other assholes. I’ve gotten to know the real you, that you are just beautiful in every sense of the word.
Having to put these words in your mouth does us no justice, because we’re just saying it for you. BUT THEN, you get bent out of shape.
Any real man who knows how to genuinely comfort his love, is the man of my dreams.
You don’t fucking deserve me after all of the unconditional love I’ve given you, through the good, but most of the bad.
How dare you.